Lub Dub Love: A YA sapphic romance by Blanche Maze
Author:Blanche Maze [Maze, Blanche]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2022-11-29T23:00:00+00:00
29
Flynn
Days pass and nothing happens. Not much happens at least, because of course, school is pretty different.
Itâs not perfect. Iâm not welcomed there like a hero now, and itâs for the best, because attentionâno matter the motiveâis not for me. Iâd rather stay unnoticed⦠But I think people donât look at me with that same look of pity anymore. No, now they look at me with some sort of respect, and that feels amazing.
I havenât run into Ben because heâs still suspended, but I expect heâll come back soon. Itâs only a matter of time and I donât know if Iâm eager or scared about such an encounter. Even though I stood up to him, he still hit me pretty bad. And I doubt heâs the type of guy to reassess his behavior because heâs been suspended twice now. Last time didnât change a thing and my hopes arenât high for when he does come back.
Not everything changed though. Iâm still terrified to answer a question in front of the entire class and the rumor of my exploits undoubtedly brought a most unwelcome spotlight on me. Social anxiety is creeping up on me despite the work I do with my therapist and I really wish I had Aeliaâs carefreeness in me, her ability to do her thing no matter what happens around her.
But I donât. Iâm not Aelia.
Speaking of her, we still text. Everyday, sometimes just a few messages a day and other times we have long and fascinating conversations. I wonder what happened when she got home the other day. When I asked about it, she evaded the question easily. Which leads me to think that I didnât go that well.
I wanted to invite her over, now that I know she can come outsideâeven if apparently sheâs not allowed to. I thought it would be cool to hang out, but I donât want to pressure her or anything. Besides, if things didnât go all that well with her mother, itâs probably best if she lies low for a while.
Still, I canât help but miss her for some reason. Especially after the talk with my mother. What she insinuated⦠Itâs true that Iâve been way better since I met Aelia. Iâm not sure if it really has anything to do with her, but the fact is there. Iâve been feeling more like myself and finally stepping up and taking matter into my own hands.
I might be getting a little ahead of myself there⦠I did stand up to Ben, but it was only this one time. Am I even certain that I would do it again if it came to that? I could easily fall back into my old habits and just cower away in my corner again.
I donât want to. I really donât. I wantâno, I needâto believe that this new version of myself is the real me. It has to be. Otherwise, Iâm just another awkward, weird, lonely girl.
And I refuse to be that.
Joe says that he likes this new side of me.
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